Wearing them as a joke would be worth the purchase price. But then I did wear them. They were dry. Dry and comfortable. Dry, comfortable and stable even on a sidehill lie in the slosh.

Petersburg, Virginia, Jan. 3, 1993. The Oilers lost to the Bills. It was neither better than nor worse than last Sunday’s Texans’ loss to the Kansas City Chiefs.

On all these topics and more, this column is in touch so you’ll be in touch.

The Tournament of Champions is first up, with Xander Schauffele the reigning champion. The Sony Open is Jan. 9-12 (Matt Kuchar) is next, and then the old guys on the Champions Tour tee up Jan. 16-18 for the Mitsubishi Electric Championship, where defending titleholder Tom Lehman is sure to wear a flowered shirt.

Willie Nelson sang about being half off the wall (but he learned it all in the Navy). Willie is a golfer. and I think he would appreciate my idea of half off the wall gifts for golfers.

Santa Claus is surely going to reward area high school golfers for their efforts this fall; as they head toward the Christmas break, visions of sugar plums, eagles and birdies are surely dancing in their heads. And maybe a new driver or putter.

After a mere 25 years as the driving force behind the Meals on Wheels annual fundraiser at the Galveston Country Club, the event has been renamed “The Reverend Ray Pinard Golf Tournament.”

The weather has lately been sometimes frightful and well, baby, cold outside; but on some days it has ranged from San Diego-like to just plain delightful.

A pair of senseless (aren’t they all) triple bogeys gave me an early case of golf mumbles last Sunday. I was feeling pretty low about my score as I settled in for the Texans versus the Ravens. Things would get worse.

League City’s Mike Standly was among more than 100 golfers who teed up at last week’s Lone Star NGL Texas Senior Open at Eagle Pointe Golf Course in Mont Belvieu.

As the little action figure that represented me walked, he progressed from one rectangle to the next while on the side of the screen messages appeared to indicate which days tickets were sold out. Of course, the weekend packages went first, followed by the single day ducats each of the days of matches.

Being invited to the golf course raters/media day at Escondido Golf & Lake Club in Horseshoe Bay was, for me, right up there with having been invited to attend my first-ever Astros playoff game last year.

To have watched in real-time as Justin Thomas won the PGA Tour’s CJ Cup (and $1.75 million) in South Korea last weekend, one would have had to stay up half the night.

Unless and until the venerable old tournament returns to a pre-Masters spot on the PGA Tour schedule, do not expect marquee players to play in our backyard.

There is much golf going on, and there is much golf-related information of interest. But first, there are socks. Yes, the kind we wear on our feet.

Let’s begin at the beginning with beginners, move on to talking about what talkers talk about, talk about walking, then finish up with local finishers.

In case you missed it, fall has arrived. Soon — but surely not soon enough — there will be a crispness to the morning air.

Guilty. As guilty as Felicity Kendall Huffman am I, for not properly having covered the now completed Solheim Cup matches that were contested at Gleneagles, in Scotland.