The Astros can still win the World Series even if they lose. During the break, I propose we turn control of America’s pastime over to Texas Republicans, so that losing can again be winning for our team.

After any loss to Atlanta, the New ASTROS (Abbot Scams, Trump Rules Our State) must, with their usual gravitas, blame batter fraud or a conspiracy to manipulate the Jumbotron. Forensic cyber ninja gamers can prove after the fact that fair is foul.

Any umpire who respects the rules, also known as an activist judge, must be replaced. His replacement will call balls as strikes and strikes as balls as needed. If the proud boys of summer use their flag bats to hit a single or an umpire, the new ASTROS runner starts on third, not first base. A walk is a run for our team.

The crowd boys rooting for the new ASTROS must follow Rudy’s lead and scream “Stop the Steal” until Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit. They must increase the volume after he loses it.

So, schedule the victory parade. Remember, we do well by Orwell — ignorance is strength. Losing, as the new ASTROS will always swear, is really winning.

David Brakebill

Friendswood

Locations

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(48) comments

Carlos Ponce

Hilarious letter, David! Not to worry. Republicans will still dominate Texas politics. Problem is to cull the RINOS from the herd.

Bailey Jones

[thumbup][lol][thumbup][lol][thumbup]

Dalton Logan

First time I've seen Bailey give a thumbs-up to Carlos[beam]

Bailey Jones

That's a perfectly ironic comment, Dalton, given the subject of the letter.

George Laiacona

Excellent writing. Keep up the good work. 👍🏻👌

David Hardee

You have a skill that should appropriately be used in the presentation of Monty Python. This derogatory analogy silly and produces linguistic caricatures that are disgusting. Astro have been adjudicated guilty by evidence and confession, Those individuals you analogize with them the process of an admirable effort to impact the lives (whether you agree or not with their intentions). If you want to say it, do with some dignity of specifics.

Thanks for the diversion from serious presentations into the realm of a clown's farce.

Dalton Logan

Speaking of the game tonight, I would like to have seen them invite the MLB commissioner, Stacy Abrams and the CEO of Coca Cola to throw out the first ball tonight[rolleyes]

Stuart Crouch

Beautiful! Hopefully, the barking seals of the Orange Cult Facism Club had someone help them read this wonderfully crafted and metaphorically artful piece . "Yeah, we lie....so what....big deal.....we can do that when we win...and we win when we change the rules along the way....big deal...we can cheat to when as long as we accuse everyone else of what we are doing and deny it, by...well, lying some more."

Dalton Logan

Can't even come close to the 'wonderfully crafted and metaphorically artful piece' as verbalized by the NBC NASCAR announcers when one asked the other what the crowd was chanting and came up with 'lets go Brandon'. [tongue]

Charles Douglas

I know how I can become a millionaire quick! All you have to do is circle through Cancun and fake like you are a refugee see, in my case I would say I'm from Haiti, and use a fake accent, then join a caravan, grab an unaccompanied kid, and when you cross the American border and, you are detained, you file a lawsuit for oppression, high stress, and depression!

Joe China is giving out $450,000 to the kid, and the same amount to the Kid's parent! Ain't that a Cowboy B..[censored] ?? The clown that was engineered into the Oval Office by the LEFT, said nothing when he got 13 American Marines Killed by his selfish desires, greed, and stupidity, and with their families receiving only $400 thousand dollars for their deaths, now he is willing to make millionaires out of Illegal Alliens who break our laws of the land, and then ask for compensations afterwards which include taxes paid for by the dead marines relatives! Now, this I know, America has to be the laughing stock of the world! I have never seen such ultra, stupidity, and irresponsible behavior from a public servant in my life!!!!!!!!! These people are raving mad!!!!! Now we have the NAACP, telling all the BLACK ATHLETES to stay out of Texas sports because of abortion & voting laws in Texas! Ahhhhhhh-hahah, really? Over 300,000 African-Americans babies are slaughtered every year by way of abortion, and Plan Parnehood in this nation! Don't their lives count? How many Michael Jordans were aborted last year? How many Martin L. Kings had their lives snuffed out, and could not do a thing about it! What about a Colin Powell? So it has come to this? We are headed back to segregation, and boycotting a state for standing up for righteousness and life? I got one thing to say about it All! LETS SEE IF YOU CAN PULL IT OFF!!!!! Lololo!

Gary Scoggin

If you circle through Cancun, tell Ted Cruz hello.

Emilio Nicolas

Now look at UT's last two games against Oklahoma teams: UT was winning before it was loosing, there were 2 halves, UT won the first half in both games, but they only counted the second half to determine a "winner", the referees were part of the establishment, and the evidence of fraud goes on and on, and though we saw it with our own eyes, since when should that matter? ... more proof later, "just wait"! We must demand that Gov. Abbott call for an audit of the scores and that the officials declare UT the winner! Stop the steal!

Carlos Ponce

Auditing football scores is not within the governor's authority. Auditing political contests is within the governor's authority.

Gary Scoggin

Carlos -- What's your current predicted date for the return of Donald Trump to the Presidency?

Carlos Ponce

Translation: Gary Scoggin just posted, "ARE WE THERE, YET? ARE WE THERE YET?"

We'll get there SOON, little Gary. God is going to remove that idiot pretender in the White House. And NO, the hyena will not take his place.

Gary Scoggin

You keep saying this, Carlos. But you have yet to provide a scintilla of evidence that this will happen and describe no legal pathway for this to occur. Why should we believe a word you say about this if you can’t even provide a cursory explanation as to how it will come to pass?

Emilio Nicolas

Brilliant! Thanks for pointing that out Carlos! (Except, the Texas legislature doesn't agree with you or Abbott).

Carlos Ponce

It doesn't matter, Emilio. TEXAS LAW agrees with me.

Emilio Nicolas

Carlos, despite your insistence that you are always right, the Abbott, by law, had to ask the legislature before proceeding to his ridiculous audit ... and they turned him down. He does not have the authority to do it on his own. Maybe college football scores are different ... "wait and see"!

Carlos Ponce

Emilio, Abbott doesn't have to ask for the state Legislature's okay. They already have it.

The current law calls for The Secretary of State of Texas to authorize an audit of the two counties with the largest Democrat votes and the two counties with the largest Republican votes - Dallas, Harris, Tarrant and Collin. THIS IS BEING DONE!

What Governor Abbott wanted IN ADDITION was an audit bill to audit more counties. The proposed bill would have allowed an audit of"each county with a population of 415,000 or more."

https://legiscan.com/TX/text/HB241/id/2423973

The legislature did not act in the measure.

In the meantime- "The Texas secretary of state’s office announced late Thursday that it has begun a 'full forensic audit' of the 2020 general election in four Texas counties: Collin, Dallas, Harris and Tarrant."

The audit is going on, Emilio.

Gary Scoggin

Spoiler Alert: Any audits will still show that Trump won Texas.

Emilio Nicolas

Oh, so Abbott does not have the authority! Then let's get our SS to look into the UT games!

Carlos Ponce

On Gary Scoggin's "Spoiler Alert": The headliner on the November 2020 ballot. It is the down ballot races in concern.

Thomas Carpenter

The Pillow guy now says Cadet Bonespurs will return in November, after missing the deadlines in Jan, Feb., March, April, May, June, July, August, September and October. Apparently Mr. Ponce hasn't had an update from his "prophets" concerning the return of Bunker Boy, they've been supernaturally quiet. I predict the Fat Dotard will return when Ponce pays his bet to Bailey. Please send more money to the disgraced, twice-impeached, former president and maybe toss in a few bucks for the 691 (and growing) terrorists arrested for their traitorous antics on Jan. 6th, 2921.

Carlos Ponce

More nonsense from Thomas Carpenter.

Bailey Jones

It's amazing how truly ignorant and gullible #worldsbiggestloser's supporters are. That's always been the secret to his success.

Carlos Ponce

The ignorance is all yous, Bailey.

David Hardee

You and your ilk have achieved getting your desired president Biden yet you linger in the idiotic pursuit of denigrating the man you fear may resurrect a change to the putrid condition your vote produced. Let's hear about your the wonders that have been achieved by your president.

The incessant whining and recriminations are the juvenile like a baby that has lost it pacifier. That solace as the Biden cabal is giving you that government tit you need to provide you comfort with free stuff.

David Hardee

You and your ilk have achieved getting your desired president Biden yet you linger in the idiotic pursuit of denigrating the man you fear may resurrect a change to the putrid condition your vote produced. Let's hear about your the wonders that have been achieved by your president. The incessant whining and recriminations are the juvenile like a baby that has lost it pacifier. That solace as the Biden cabal is giving you that government tit you need to provide you comfort with free stuff.

Gary Scoggin

You can say that again.

David Hardee

You and your ilk have achieved getting your desired president Biden yet you linger in the idiotic pursuit of denigrating the man you fear may resurrect a change to the putrid condition your vote produced. Let's hear about your the wonders that have been achieved by your president. The incessant whining and recriminations are the juvenile like a baby that has lost it pacifier. That solace as the Biden cabal is giving you that government tit you need to provide you comfort with free stuff.

Emilio Nicolas

Wow, three in a row! Practicing for the Thanksgiving dinner table?

David Hardee

Sir, If you post a comment of the nature of those that are of the ilk (Biden voters) that consistently besmirch a man (Trump) that was defeated by what has proven to be a fumbling, stumbling fool (Biden, which by even the analysis of those that voted for him at this point is a disaster) I will gladly embrace you with an appropriate rebuke. Please don't join in the snarky snipping that plague these threads.

Emilio Nicolas

Your pretentiousness is as laughable as your hateful posts. You really expect someone other than those of your "ilk" to take you seriously?

David Hardee

I have traced your last 7 comments. The maximum effort you have made was a total of 3 sentences in one of your quip comments. That qualifies you as a snarky snipping nuisance. If you make a comment worthy you will get a respectful response. It may appear pretentious but will be substantial to the subject.

Babble on, Emilio.

Emilio Nicolas

Hardee: I've traced your comments on this and other threads. None are "respectful", too much hateful and irrational dribble. Now you want me to accept you as the judge of what is "respectful" or "snarky" or "substantial"? Hate on. (4 sentences should satisfy at least one of your complaints. Now it's 6 sentences).

David Hardee

Obviously, as usual for your type you did not review the content of the my cpmments and the respectful responses (though contra opinions etc.) and the often back and forth debating. So again Emilio you even exerted little effort and produced another non-sense nuisance quip.

Stop babbling - your hole is getting deeper so quit dogging.

Gary Scoggin

David H. writes, “ I have traced your last 7 comments. The maximum effort you have made was a total of 3 sentences in one of your quip comments. That qualifies you as a snarky snipping nuisance. If you make a comment worthy you will get a respectful response. It may appear pretentious but will be substantial to the subject.”

Just as a point out, every sentence here also applies to Carlos Ponce.

Carlos Ponce

"Just as a point out, every sentence here also applies to Carlos Ponce."

Gee, Scoggin, I didn't know you cared! [love][love][love]

Emilio Nicolas

Oh, you think this is a "debate" site! Whatever. Go wherever your delusions lead you like. I won't be the one to tell you to be more succinct since just keep repeating the same ole hateful dribble and thinking that it deserves a respectful response. And, just to avoid any semblance of hypocrisy, you might want to get on Carlos' case too, as he can be pretty snarky (see below). Now, go ahead and have the last word ...

Carlos Ponce

Emilio Nicolas, so you care, too! [love][love][love]

Gary Scoggin

David - As a Biden voter, I will go on record at being disappointed at how his presidency has gone so far. But, at the end of the day, he is not trying to undermine our democracy like the person he beat in the last election. And the actions by the former guy to subvert the Constitution is more dangerous to our republic than the damage any president can do in a single term.

Carlos Ponce

"But, at the end of the day, he is not trying to undermine our democracy..." Yes, yes he is.

Bailey Jones

Gary, we are in agreement, per usual. My observation that Trump destroys all he touches still holds. He's effectively remade the Republican Party - into something meaner, stupider, and more servile. This, of course, is evidenced daily by commenters here. And evidenced in numbers here - https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/congressional-republicans-left-office-in-droves-under-trump-just-how-conservative-are-their-replacements/

Biden has indeed been a disappointment, as Democrats often are - especially to progressives like me. It's always harder to push the envelope than sit and do nothing. But I'm still hopeful that we'll end up with historic infrastructure spending. And what remains of the social infrastructure bill - particularly the 2 years of additional education for our kids, healthcare, and child care funding - will only pale in comparison with what was originally proposed.

We can all look forward to the havoc that TrumPravda is going to wreak on our nation. I expect that it will unleash the worst that humanity has to offer and we'll see here in America the same level of extremism and violence that is being fueled by unmoderated FB content in 3rd world nations around the globe.

The Trumpuppets will be here to cheer it all on. The rest of us can only hope that America wakes up before America is gone forever.

Got ilk?

Carlos Ponce

Bailey, check your meds. They are affecting your mind.... or is it the recreational drugs you take?

Emilio Nicolas

Carlos, of course I care! Love to you too![beam]

Thomas Carpenter

2021

Ed Buckner

Hilarious letter, David Brakebill--but way too on point, too. Thanks.

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