In years gone by, television commercials’ most annoying featured a certain set of pitchmen.
Car salesmen. Remember?
Every city had its representative hollering. Men who jumped on the tops of cars and yelled to everyone to “rush in” for the great bargains.
Those days are over, and those guys are forever relegated to the back burners. Car commercials now feature the latest models traveling as fast as possible over hill and dale, through rough terrain and endless highways.
Nobody is yelling about cars.
But the obnoxious huckstering hasn’t gone away. The product has just changed.
They aren’t selling cars. They’re selling furniture.
The genesis of this enterprise is, of course, Gallery Furniture, whose leader, Jim McIngvale, has made an empire selling mattresses, and all kinds of furniture, solid wood and U.S. created.
You know him as Mattress Mack and because he’s such a benefactor to the community, we mostly all love him and tolerate his aggressive commercials.
Not so much do I tolerate the guy from Exclusive Furniture, “where low prices live.”
He followed in the footsteps of Mack.
Early on, with one store, he had a bunch of cute children who helped him with all the TV ads. Now, like Mack, he has several different stores and, and probably, many customers.
Then there is SuperNova Furniture, which I had never heard of until two or three years ago.
But SuperNova came on the air with a SuperSeller whose name is Ana Abrahams. According to her listing in Google, she also was a philanthropist following Hurricane Harvey, giving away mattresses to people who needed them.
But when she comes on my TV, I’m quick to mute her. Her voice is unpleasant to my ear and her costumes, tied to the seasons and holidays, are outrageous.
SuperNova is growing to multiple stores — another furniture kingdom.
Also ascending the thrones of nuisance salespeople are lawyers. They’re bulldogs with big hammers.
Occupying an additional obnoxious amount of space are the pill pushers. Not the people who administer them, first the people who make them.
They advertise for afflictions I would rather not hear about on TV. And I certainly wouldn’t want to have to explain them to my small children.
But quickly, we get to the people who do prescribe them. I remember the days when doctors and lawyers didn’t advertise. Ever. It was considered unethical. Wish that were still true.
There’s one current doctor ad, however, that has its winning graces. It’s a promo for a sinus guy in Houston who proffers his whole autobiography ending with the loving declaration of how much he loves Houston.
Dr. Michael Kaplan loves Houston almost as much as Matthew McConaughey says, on TV, that he loves Austin.
So, we should let Kaplan fix sinuses and vote for McConaughey for governor.