While digging among the old columns filed away on my computer, I happened upon a collection called “leftovers.”
Tucked in among hundreds of columns, years of columns, was wedged this morsel, which contained a couple of news releases I had apparently read and rejected.
A second look at one, which was dated June 20, 2001, reminded me that lots of people invent lots of things and many of them become popular. Take the hula hoop and the lava lamp, for instance. The pet rock and the mood ring.
But here’s one from the jewelry province, which never quite made it. Don’t know why.
It was called a flashy fashion, says the Belly Light inventor, Gary Kellmann.
The Belly Light was about the size of a pencil eraser, according to the story, and contained multiple LED lights powered by a replaceable 12-hour watch-sized battery.
The Belly Light fit snugly to any person’s navel using a hypoallergenic skin adhesive and hydro-foam.
The press release says more than a million lights were purchased by professional models, NFL cheerleaders, rock ’n’ roll singers and even a few grandmas.
It was then launched on a nationwide and international level.
How did we miss this?
The other half of my “leftover” collection is something that has probably been quoted ad infinitum at various times in various places. It remains the inspiration for a chuckle or two. I hope.
It’s a list of hymns for special groups, to be sung in church, I presume. I quote:
The Dentist’s Hymn: “Crown Him with Many Crowns.”
The Weatherman’s Hymn: “There Shall be Showers of Blessing.”
The Electrician’s Hymn: “Send the Light.”
The Contractor’s Hymn: “The Church’s One Foundation.”
The Golfer’s Hymn: “There is a Green Hill Far Away.”
The Politician’s Hymn: “Standing on the Promises.”
The Optometrists Hymn: “Open My Eyes That I Might See.”
The IRS Hymn: “All to Thee.”
Can you think of other suitable hymns?
I started to drag out a hymnal or two and search, but decided enough is enough.
Now I have cleaned out another file and gotten at least one small giggle out of my system.
Please forgive me. I’ll do better next time.