There’s not one of us within shouting distance who is not thrilled beyond belief that the Astros won the pennant and went on to the World Series.

If ever a wonderful boon was granted to a city in the depths of despair, this was it. Hooray for the Astros. By the time you read this, they may have won all the marbles.

But running along in the back of my mind is another, divergent thought.

How many $3,000 plus mattress purchases is Mattress Mack going to have to rebate?

Because right up until the last hit was batted, Mack was promising to pay all buyers if the ‘Stros won the big prize.

Mattress Mack is among the most beloved of community benefactors, yet the sound of his voice on the TV leads most of us who have a remote to use it quickly, either to mute or to pause.

With Mack in mind, we once again take a look at obnoxious commercials, and some who are not.

No. 1 is this collection of obnoxiousness is the guy who says, “I can get my title back with Title Max.”

Nine times out of 10 if you hit the pause, you get him standing there with his mouth wide open. I enjoy looking at him that way. Mute. Think about why you need your title back.

One of the creepiest commercials lately has almost no talking at all. It’s the one where there is writing on the eyelids. I absolutely cringe at the thought of someone writing something on my eyelids.

I think this one is about something to put in your eyes to make them feel better. It misses the point.

I can relate, however, to one commercial. There is this lady who says the store-bought chicken cutlets are as good as the ones she makes at home. And that’s OK with her, because she has lots more better things to do, like play cards and go visiting and just plain loaf. So she announces “dinner’s ready,” hauls out the cutlets and goes on her merry way. That’s a lot of us ladies these days.

I am also in accord with the ladies in the drugstore who see the girl buying purple hair dye and end up at their own party with purple streaks in their locks. Good for them. Old ladies need to be on the cutting edge once in a while.

Do you know what music is playing during this commercial? Listen and you will realize, if you are old enough, that it is “Wipe Out.”

Though I write words for money, I do not believe the guy who gives poems for presents. He says words are more valuable than money. He is dead wrong.

I personally like the song “This Little Light of Mine,” which reminds me of Sunday schools long ago.

It certainly does not remind me — as the commercial implies — of Las Vegas.

By the way, Happy Halloween.

Cathy Gillentine is a Daily News columnist. She may be reached at

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