(13) comments Back to story

David Schuler

A quick search on the internet found this study: "The relationship between helicopter parenting and adjustment to college" from the American Psychological Association and several others. Don't know about this specific case, but the research data shows increased anxiety and depression among students with so-called "helicopter parents" (hovering & helping all the time) or new 'snowblower parents'' (who actively work to minimize or eliminate obstacles) in attempts to ensure their success. What they end up doing is creating a young adult with artificially enhanced expectations of success and acceptance and no ability to deal with stress that run smack into the wall of reality once on their own. Good intentions, bad outcomes. And it could explain the increasing number of young adults who end up back at home sweet home.

George Caros

I agree as parents we need to prepare our kid for the real world. Doing everything for them just sets them up for failure in the future.

Kelly Naschke

This is what happens when you play soccer and don’t keep score....and EVERYONE gets a trophy. This generation wouldn’t have lasted a week in the “old days”.

Don Schlessinger


David Schuler

I love the 'tapping the heels' process she uses for stress reduction. Alas, unless you're wearing Ruby Slippers it doesn't work. Seriously, these are precisely the kinds of coping mechanisms kids need to learn and come to rely on at home before facing that first semester. Unfortunately, colleges are becoming more accommodating so that the first job becomes the test of adulthood. And from personal experience, companies, too, are changing their entry requirements and 'on-boarding' (yecch!) experience to accommodate the little darlings. Oh, well. So now i'll go back to writing my next marketing plan on the back of a shovel with chalk and putting the turkey into the wood-fired stove to wait for that new-fangled plastic pop-thing to tell me when it's done. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Comment deleted.
Don Schlessinger


Jim Forsythe

The story is about a young lady doing the best she can to help herself to succeed in life.

It's not about Justine winning a trophy or her parents being "helicopter parents". It about Justine doing what ever it takes to become a doctor in physical therapy.

The one that are making fun of what she talked about, are also the one's that complain about young people living off the government. Instead of making fun you should be applauding Justine and others that are doing what it takes to make it.

Justine Tramontana has learned skills that help her cope with stress and her keep focused. One of her skills is to tapping her heels together and taking a deep breath. These types of techniques are used by many to stay on the tasks at hand.

Each person is different in being able to stay on task. She knows how to get herself back on track without taking medication. These skills will serve her well, all of her life. These type of self-help therapies are the preferred way to manage it.

Some people are not as fortunate as she is and must use medication to control the problem with stress that they have. Some adult have ADHD which leads to making careless mistakes/lacks attention to detail --Having difficulty sustaining attention --Failing to follow through on tasks and instructions which makes it hard to function without medication.

Stress management resources aim to control a person’s level of stress, whether chronic and recurring or acute and unique. Stressors are constantly present throughout life, so one of the major keys to overall wellness and happiness is the effective management of stress. Stress management techniques provide a way to cope with stress and its symptoms to promote and maintain general well-being. There are several different approaches to the management of stress including conventional medicine, alternative medicine, and self-help therapies.

David Schuler

Two comments: First, is she going to ask her future patients for accommodation? and second, the point was that those important coping mechanisms needed to be developed BEFORE being thrust into a high-stress situation.

Jim Forsythe

David, you and I have no idea of Justine's past. She may have already overcome many problems. She may not have had parent's or had other problems that she had no control over. All she can control is now, and not what has happened in the past. When I was doing training, I use many coping mechanisms that help me to do my job. She has done the hardest part, knowing that she has a problem. She is not asking for accommodation because she has a process of adapting and adjusting .

Would you prefer that she give up, and not work toward her goal?

To me, she was trying to encourage anyone that is having problems, not to give up. She will also make a good doctor in physical therapy for the ones that are having problems with stress, as she will be able to help her patients understand what is happening too them, and what will help them to cope with it.

If you have never had physical therapy, it can be very stressful.

David Schuler

I said up front i had no information on this specific case. My initial comment was intended to provide background information (not provided by the author) on the potential causes of increased anxiety and depression.

Mary Drosche

I have no intention of being unkind to this girl, but I agree with those references to all getting trophies. All I can do is shake my head. I don't know about the rest of you, but my husband came home from the Marine Corps in 1976 and started college. We had a 1-yr old baby. He went to college, summer, spring, winter and fall, continually without a break (Christmas vacation was the longest break). He worked part-time jobs; I worked full time. We robbed Peter to pay Paul on numerous occasions. We had gas lines to deal with during that time period (remember those?) Too often he had to spend time in the garage repairing one of our old vehicles so he could keep us going - and he still had to study. So, I am not being unkind but I have little sympathy for her. We were taught that we work for what we want and if it involves hard work, well, so be it. Nothing worthwhile comes easy, right? This is what we taught our daughters. While we've been able to help them far more than any help we ever received, we also had no intention of handicapping them to be unable to deal with what life would throw at them.

Jim Forsythe

Mary, just as you described many of us that did the same as your family. I did not serve but I went to school and held a full time job and a part time job year round. The wife was also busy..

Mary, do you have any idea if Justine is working or taking care of a love one? Was she in the military? Most likely GDN contacted her about doing a piece about how stress effects her life. Maybe you see it as Justine complaining about her having stress, and I see it as Justine telling the reporter how she deals with it. This serves a service to others that may have a similar type of problem.

If no one in your family has ever been effected with extreme stress, you are lucky.

Justine is a doctoral candidate in physical therapy and sounds like she has her eye on the prize.

Mary, did Justine play sports and receive a trophies? Unless you can answer yes she did, you have no idea about her childhood.

Does Justine have Acute Stress disorder, which is characterized by panic reactions, mental confusion . We have no idea as the story did not give those detail as to the type of stress she has. If she was in the military, she could be sufferings with PTSD.

Bailey Jones

I'd hate to have my life summed up in a couple dozen sentences and then be publicly scorned for it.

And I'm afraid I have little sympathy for the sentiment - "I suffered so I have little sympathy for your suffering." How about, "I suffered and made it, I hope you make it as well."

Good luck to you, Tramontana. I've struggled with anxiety and a depression disorder my whole life - as did my dad - and his mom. I hope you find understanding people who can help you find your way through it. The hard work you're doing now will give you the confidence to do amazing things in the future.

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