Three young Galveston County residents — with so much ahead of them — took their own lives after being bullied by peers and people they knew. This series — Bullied to the Brink — is about problems and possible solutions to what experts call a crisis.

Robert’s mother asked a routine question posed to sixth-grade boys on school nights: Had he done his homework?

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By policy and practice, The Daily News very rarely publishes information from unnamed sources or agrees to shield the identity of sources thro…

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Bailie Lundy, 15, took her pit bull Cane outside on the afternoon of Feb. 12. She had gone to church with her family in the morning, and then …

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Tracy Sanford wondered where her daughter’s school bus was on Dec. 7, 2015. Bus 125, carrying the teenager, was late and the family was having…

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Brandy Vela, 18, healed the animals in her household — bandaging injured cat paws and splinting a broken foot for a backyard chicken.

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Brandy Vela was not alone.

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Bullying has always been around. So it’s easy for the older generation, looking back on school days, to dismiss the problem as a rite of passa…

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When alarm clocks go off Monday morning, you can rest assured a lot of children and teenagers will wake up afraid to go to school. They dread …

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A bill strengthening Texas' rules against cyberbullying got one step closer to becoming law on Wednesday.

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They outnumbered her and were bigger and stronger.

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Two things have become increasingly clear in the months since our reporting staff set out to explore the prevalence and consequences of bullyi…

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William, 9, has been in trouble all year.

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A lot of us tend to have very heated reactions to instances of bullying. Part of that probably is because of the fundamental injustice typical…

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We’re willing to wager most teachers don’t pursue their careers to abuse their power. In fact, most are likely inspired by altruism to enter a…

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Teachers can plan a role in school-place bullying — often without realizing it.

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In this series, we’ve looked at bullying in schools. We’ve mostly focused on students who are bullied or who bully others, but research and in…

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15 updates to this series since

(6) comments

seamus
Jim Casey

When I was in grade school, in the 1960s, I was the target of bullies. Talking to them didn't work. Ignoring them led to more physical harassment.

Finally I tried to throw one out the window at school—without opening the window. A teacher caught me and took me aside for a lecture—the upshot of which was, don't get caught doing that again.

That was the end of the bullying. Today I would probably have been arrested, expelled, and charged with assault in juvenile court.

- Seamus

David Schuler

Bullies understand force and little else. My suggestion is to use that 750 page book to whack 'em on the head and move on. And buy your kids dumb phones for emergency use only.

William Collier

We are a non profit call Imbullyfree.org. Our mission is to advocate for families whose child is bullied. We are seeing so many issues with cyber bullying crimes around the world. We are seeing an increase in suicide and self harm of children under the age of 17 years old. We have many programs that will help families and schools. It is going to take all of us to stop the bullying epidemic. Children are our future. Help us empower your children.

Tony Brown

This is an important issue to address. Others locally include hunger and homeless children.

Marie Taylor

Bullieying: My Essay To The Bullied - Please Read for me (Important)

We have lost four young school age children, in our Galveston County, in as many months. I hear helplessness in their words. Please Read. It's for the young people, really. I'm posting to my newspaper, and have it on my blog. Thank you. This issue needs attention. I; trying to speak up for them.
Marie

Bullieying: My Essay To The Bullied


BULLIEYING
(or as also known…) “Bullieying: Yes, I Spelled It That Way”
My essay-posting is directed toward the young persons. Basically, those of our modern day dilemma, of bullying and being bullied to suicide, in Galveston County, Texas.
Our county has suffered tremendous loss, measured only second to grieving families, still reeling, themselves, from their own sudden shock, of losses of loved one(s) due to youth suicide.
My Letter To Bullied Young People,
Let me introduce myself. I’m Ms Nanny and I have a blog called msnannysparlor@wordpress.com that has information on helping young people grow up. My blog is in the form of Lessons, May I Help You Grow Up, Entertaining Humor, Something Smart To Know, and much more. Things on my blog are from other sources, and I have picked them to help my readers be entertained while learning.
I am not a parent, not a teacher, not a professional, nor credentialed person, in any way. But … I am a grown-up … with life experience, and that entitles me to write and post to my blog my own outlooks.
SIT BACK NOW, QUIETLY, AND IMAGINE HEARING MY WORDS TO YOU AS YOU READ FURTHER.

PILGRIMS, YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I am disturbed to see (young) people so overwhelmed by their heavy-weighted burdens, that one would overlook the idea, (indeed, the Fact), that YOU are Not Alone; and I mean, “Never Alone” in this world.
You do not “Live Under A Basket”. You are not clear on the fact, that as a child or young adult: Someone Will Always, “Have Your Back”.
“HOW COME NOBODY’S HELPING ME?”
Point One: Mom, and you, can apply this to Teachers too.
You are bullied, today, yesterday, all the time, sometimes, with friends there, without anybody there other times.
You are having behavior outbursts.
You can’t even think to yourself where these outbursts come from when they do come.
You begin to recognize your loss of personal behavior control.
You are not on that emotional mind, but there it is, inside you.
More symptoms start showing up:
Eating slows, slows, stops!
Sleep is nothing more than long, repeating, “Ground-Hog’s Day”, sleepless nights, night after night. Sleepy turns into headaches, fatigue, dizziness, low blood pressure (yes, that’s one that is life-threatening and doesn’t care how old, or not old, you are.)
Now, you’ve become the student with the head down on the desk in class, and lots of exhaustion over weeks, and more exhaustion over months. This Will result in hospital.
Now, you fail to report to school.
Now, you can’t face your bullier anymore. Grades are “shot”; just call them, “gone”.
Parents are madder than maddest.
Physical appearance has no attention, and your cognitive attention is so short, you wouldn’t trust yourself to drive, or to watch the baby babysitting, and actually watch the baby without forgetting.
What I’m describing is a slow descent into long-term depression, which is Frustration. Food becomes not your friend, sleep becomes a total stranger, arguments in the family become unfair grudges due to bad moods, and deteriorating ill health.
In Summary,
You are a child, tween, pre-teen, teen, post-teen, young adult, and you are mercurial. Growing Pains are not just about your bones (and the associated aches), that come with a growing body. Minds must mature as well, at the same time.
YOU ARE NOT EXPECTED TO HANDLE “BULLYING ON YOU” ALONE: DOGGONE, GO GET YOUR BEST ADULT, (OR YOUR BACK-UP BEST ADULT), (OR YOUR SECOND BACK-UP BEST ADULT):
Parents cannot learn from you the problem they want to help solve when all they get back from …, “Honey, want to talk about it?”, is … “Nah, I’m fine, Dad, Nah, I’m fine, Mom.”
Parents just cannot wade through your “filter”, that which is, our outward appearances, and “roulette wheel”, to land on the right causes of your emotional and physical distress.
Okay, Pilgrim, this is where … YOU Pitch In To Help You Help Them Help You
(Or Also Titled): How Do I Bring Up I’m Being Bullied To My Best Adult?:
No question about it; I have the two age-old solutions that work E-ver-y Time!
Solution One: The Note:
Every mom and dad knows when talking to you is important, but many times, they’re waiting for a sign that you will be open to saying what they can help, with in your life, and by then, doing that for you.
So, ‘The Note’ is how YOU write, on a paper, “Mom (or Dad here, or insert an appropriate name here, of course, Pilgrim). “Mom (or Dad), Can we talk?”
Then, YOU put the paper with your writing, on the proper bed pillow and go to your room, and sit on your bed.
This is an important time. You are about to reveal your need for adult anti-bullying help.
Wait in your room. Wait until Mom (or Dad) comes in, makes the move toward you, saying something, such as, “What’s Up?” Then … right then, when you’ve got Mom’s attention … you just say it. “Mom, I’m being bullied. School is not taking me seriously. Friends are not helping me. Mom, I need Adult help.”
At this point, Mom will be asking you questions. In your most mature mind, you will tell the truth, you will explain, you will have “clean hands”, in that you did not provoke or encourage bullying, that you have not maliciously-intended. This is a seriousness not to play with. With a parents’ help, you now have “gasoline” to “roll your wheels” away from Bullying.
Solution Two is (what I call) “The Blitz”:
This is when Mom is washing dishes, or sorting laundry, (Please not when she’s driving or handling equipment, Wise Pilgrim); or Dad is plucking weeds, or sitting in the lawn chair.
(Hey, in this method, make sure you are standing slightly off their shoulder, or even beside them.)
‘Mom, you feeling okay?” “Yes, Child.”
Now, you’re assured you could speak as you would with a “surprise’ news.
Then, right then, in that very moment, say it: “Mom (or Dad, of course), I’m being bullied and I need Adult help.”
And Stop Right There!
And Don’t Move !
Keep in mind, that Mom and Dad are my examples. I’m writing of whomever you “designate” as your Best Adult. These are the examples of Outcry that work on your folks At School Too. And, these two methods work for any age person.
You may tell your Adult, “It’s a Ms. Nanny Note”.
Your adult won’t understand that, at first. But later, it will make sense to them after they talk with you. So, I say, it’s okay to use my name to present your Outcry Note, if it helps you or if you choose to.
Tell your Adult, “Ms. Nanny writes that I have to tell someone if I am being bullied … or hurt.) My two methods also work if something unusual, uncomfortable, awkward, or strange is going on in your life.
You may be thinking, “It’s just too, too hard to say the words, when I think I have failed my Best Adult, getting in my position, and causing them “Capital-T” Trouble”.
Stop Right Here – Special Notation:
The term, ‘Best Adult’, does Not mean always the same Best Adult every time. Please be aware, your Best Adult is the trusted person you feel a connection with, whom you believe, Believes You.
There’s no limit on the number of persons you can approach as long as you trust them. This is why police officers, school people, church people, medical people, social working people, are responsible to ensure your well-being, and always relied upon to help you.
Your Adult will ask you questions. You will begin to keep track of occurrences, written in such as a type of diary, or dedicated notebook. Each time you are bullied, you will write in your diary/notebook. When you are particularly disturbed, have your Best Adult read your entry, and initial it, and talk about it with you. This step is important because sharing your burden with your Adult, in that moment, will give you more restful sleep from worry and anxiety at night. You have a right to be protected, but, people have to know it from you, that you are experiencing happenings beyond, what you think is, your control.
When you write your diary, you will include dates/times, who was there, where it was, what happened, when you next saw someone to help you, how all this affected you: mind, emotions, body. Keep track of how reactions, of others, around you, affected your own reactions. You will gain insights, you had not previously seen. Sometimes, this reflection will bring an, “Ah-hah!” moment.
I, again, say to you that you are not equipped, expected, allowed, or recommended to handle bullying alone.
This is an adult situation that operates in a cycle, you yourself, as a youth, cannot break. It’s not normal for you to do this alone.
There is no shame to be had for revealing what is wrong, and then proceeding to Fix It!
You have a short-sighted paradigm because you are not grown, and you do not see as far as an adult. That’s my point to make to you.
Pilgrim, you may be looking at a child, ( in looking at yourself), and expect that child to take on, and wrangle, a very Adult syndrome. One, sometimes, being acted out in a very young person who has little self control.
IN CLOSING:
Now, being the spiritual person I am, I cannot close my essay without imparting what I believe to be something of value, as reasons Not to commit any GRAVE ACT (that dreadful Suicide word again), against oneself.
This is me asking you to consider my points listed below: I have lived a long life, and have encountered the instances of suicide, and this is what I have learned.
Child, you come from a long line of love. You belong.
You are good. No one can change the happiness your family feels, (then and now). You are a cog in a wheel, sometimes not the original wheel, but a wheel needs the cog-you so much. You have more than 55 generations of love, partnerships, families, legacies, (I don’t have to go on making this point). I’m saying, your ancestors FOUGHT full-strength with their love. That’s how You Got To Be Here Today. Love is in your blood.
Boys Contemplating Suicide:
I’m reminding you, Boys, You are leaving earth without ever having sat next to that sweet voice who called your name and said, “Please sit by me.”
Or fallen in love, from across the room, with that pretty little girl in the pink dress.
You have yet to pet every sort of animal.
You have yet to visit all the museums to learn your own human history.
Wade, fish, swim, paddle every river you can.
You haven’t opened the car door for your poor mom who can’t use her hands now because she crippled them with the chores of cooking and cleaning, all her life.
Girls Contemplating Suicide,
You are leaving before you have cooked near enough times with mom, enjoying the kitchen.
You have yet to wear the most beautiful dress you will own.
You haven’t felt the thrill of seeing the night sky when you are happiest
Or when you were saddest.
You haven’t cried enough tears with your sibling or best friend because her heart was broken.
Or smiled enough smiles that Were to be, to warm 500,000 hearts you would have met in your lifetime.
In other words, Pilgrims, you haven’t done all you have come here to do.
You cannot leave by choice. It is Not Allowed, Not done!
Suicide is not allowed and will Never be an approved or permissible exit option. There is No Agreeance from anyone who knows or loves you. You are much too precious, too wanted, too desparately loved, for anyone to, willingly, let you go from them. I promise.
My last spiritual thought to impart to you ..
Is that, of all the people I have personally known, and there are a few over a lifetime, who have survived their suicide attempts, Each And Every One Of Them Said directly to me,
“In what were to be my final moments before I met Death, I knew there was nothing in this world that could not have been resolved … in this world.”
“I did not have to go. I could have stayed. I would have worked it out.”
“I saw my family and I greatly regretted I could not be with them to help them in their daily struggles on earth. And, I apologized in those moments before rescue that I was not there for them.”
In other words, Suicide not worth it! Suicide can only be “regretful” to you.
And, you’ll be ever so sorry looking back from that deep, dark, black, consciousness-awareness, “stuck out”, where your mind goes when one Suicides.
Suicide!
No!
Not!
No Way!
Don’t Do It!
Turn Around! Go Back! You Are Going The Wrong Way! I’m Telling You!
(See my Solutions One and Two above.)
Lastly, my Pilgrims, you will find you begin to take life less seriously as you practice and learn how to live.
Sometimes, okay many times, hard words bite and sting, and we find we falter under other peoples’ opinions.
But, I want to leave you with the thought that anyone can put stones on a cookie tray, put the cookie tray in the oven, cook the stones, and pull them out.
But, no one will ever be able to call these stones cookies. Stones are not cookies.
So, just remember when someone is “downing” you, “dissing you”, gossiping about you, bullying you … remember, them saying it (the cookies), doesn’t make it true (the stones).
Ms. Nanny from Ms. Nanny's Parlor Blog
Hitchcock, (Galveston County), Texas, USA

Marie Taylor

Galveston Daily News, Thank You for helping me get my word out to troubled people.

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